Added: Monique Benny - Date: 04.12.2021 06:18 - Views: 15197 - Clicks: 1439
Trouble in relationships is always about the extremes. This post is near one on low self-esteem because a never-fighting couple has at least one person who qualifies. One person has decided to cater to the other if there is no fighting. That person may not even be aware of how they are becoming very resentful over six, seven or even eight years. The resentments are insidious and eat away at the connectivity until there is nothing left. This is captured in the book Blame by Michelle Huneven. The character of Patsy allows herself to be overlooked and disregarded by Cal, her much older husband.
Fighting in a problem solving way means there is respect for two agendas. There are always two sets of priorities because there are two people. Fighting means both people matter. Fighting over petty matters often means there are larger, unacknowledged truths underneath. Fighting all the time is just as unproductive as not fighting at all. The ones who cater too much have to learn to pay attention to their anger instead of subverting it. The ones who have things going their way need to recognize something is amiss. Find out if the other person is willing to negotiate, problem solve and recognize there are two sets of values to work through.
If two people are in a relationship there are two sets of wants. The only way to make it for the long haul is to be certain that important wants are attended to. Codependence often means a pattern of catering to someone else which evolves into resentment that piles up to create a giant ocean-sized gap and ultimately the death of the relationship. If we only go around once on the planet earth then there is something that really matters about not wasting decades.
Figure out how to fight with respect about the things that matter. Fighting respectfully matters, not fighting is a delusion of success. Posted in Blog , Communication. About the Rhoda Mills Sommer. Notify of. Inline Feedbacks. Rhoda Mills Sommer. Couples Counseling In Baltimore. Follow rhodaoncouples. View on Instagram. Easy Access Links. Apple Podcasts. Google Podcasts. Perfectionism Relationships Require Vulnerability. Would love your thoughts, please comment.Not fighting in a relationship
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This Is What It Really Means If You And Your SO Basically Never Fight