Added: Edlyn Vanzandt - Date: 14.11.2021 16:28 - Views: 13217 - Clicks: 2159
Is jealousy really so bad? And what should we do to clear up those green-with-envy moments? There are a lot of ways to look at jealousy. If we view it from the perspective of psychologist Alfred Adler, jealousy stems from our inferiority complex. Everyone has an inferiority complex. Feelings of inferiority are embedded deep in our psyche. These feelings are a natural part of being human.
Someone else was chosen over you. Those feelings of being left out or left behind translate into jealousy. Jealousy is sparked by not feeling okay about some aspect of your self or your situation. Jealousy is a deeply ingrained emotion in humans. We want what others have because we need resources to survive and want comforts to thrive. If we look back through history, jealousy has always been part of us. Hera, the wife of Zeus, jealously turned his mistress Lo into a heifer in Greek mythology. Themes and teachings in Christianity, Judaism, Islam, and Buddhism all speak to jealousy as a damaging emotion.
It seems as long as humans have existed, so has jealousy. Growth mindset is a big buzz topic these days and for a good reason. How can I do that too? What would I need to do or learn to gain the same success? Bob and I will see writers who create an instant best-seller, and although we may feel jealous for a moment, we shift it into a lesson. What can we learn from their experience? Jealousy is normal. Jealousy comes up.
But rather than dwelling on it and beating yourself up as inadequate, learn how to tap into it and mine it as a resource. If you do value what they have and want it for yourself, look at the lessons to extract from their experience. Apply them to your actions and figure out how to create more of the same success in your life. I recently met with a man who said he feels intimidated and jealous of the other men in his leadership group. We started exploring where the feelings were coming from and discussing his values.
He has a very service-filled life. His relationship with his wife is intimate and beautiful. He teaches others and gives back. But feeling envious of others was denying his values. He values service, intimacy, and relationships and has done a beautiful job at building those aspects in his life.
Jealousy helps us narrow our focus and tap into our core values. We may think we want EXACTLY what they have this is especially true when it comes to romantic relationships but look at the aspects of their situation causing your jealousy.
When someone else has something in his or her life you want, look at the lesson. What is it you really want? How do you achieve the same love, success, or happiness in your own life and your situation? When harnessed correctly, jealousy is a powerful motivator to help us clarify our desires and move us toward getting what we really want in life.
For more ways to get what you want in your life, visit the Wright Foundation. Loving the content and want more? Follow Judith on Facebook , Twitter and Pinterest! Liked this post and want more? Wright Foundation performative learning programs are integrated into the curriculum at Wright Graduate University. People with high emotional intelligence live lives of greater fulfillment and happiness.
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A Helpful Guide to Overcoming Envy